"Scattered"

I don't care if you're black or white, 17 or 30, a sportsman or musician or neither or both. I don't care if you're a doctor, a tradie or studying. I care if you can hold a decent conversation, tell the truth, and know what you're doing. I care if you can distract me, turn me on, take me away from this place I'm stuck in. I care if you hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay, get me out of this ongoing turmoil, distract me further. Stop me from bouncing up and down, ground me, keep me centred.

Insecurity please go away,
Self confidence please come back.
Everything I believed about myself,
                       It came from you.
Analysing mirrors like the chapters in a test.
Get rid of what I don't need.
Beauty was something I believed in
                        Because you said it was true.
But
You lied and lied and lied
And hurt and cut and blamed.
You cheated, you lost faith, hope, patience.
You ruined the most beautiful thing in the world.
How could someone do that to love?
                         How can you not care?
Look at me and laugh?
Tell me I'm ugly?
Say you want to be my friend?
How does someone so beautiful, so treasured,
                          Become so hated, so despised.
And how come I feel guilty for hating you?

I pray for the day thoughts of you don't plague
My happiness.
Please just stop.
Loving you ripped me to shreds.
Hating you hurts more.


29.2.12 ~ The Broken