'Patterns Are Painful'

A compliment for a smile. 
A praise for a kiss. 
A request to be held. 
A longing to be safe.  
                    Security and happiness would be nice. 
And a little less confusion. 
And a little less of the vague. 
And a little less of the jokes. 
And a little less of the harsh. 
                    Soft and sweet would be nice. 
A cheeky grin, then a naked body. 
Bare skin. Smooth and sensual. 
And all about touch. 
And all about feel. 
                    Knowing there's more is nice. 
There is pain where there is pleasure. 
Late nights and lack of sleep. Grumpy. 
A different experience and a different situation. Confusion. 
A certainty? A flame. 
An attraction reciprocated.
Bold and shy and new but comfortable. 
Nothing and all of the above, of course. 
So when the question is asked, there can be no answer. 
A soft, confused look. Almost pain, almost hurt. 
Almost. 
There is always a deflection. A reason, also known as an 
Excuse.
Truth be told, I'd like the truth. 
Dates and time is nice, as are you.
I can only take so much nice. 
                    Nice is becoming intimidating. 
Being comfortable is being used to you. 
Being used to us. Being 'us', whatever that may be.
*Insert deflection here*
Being opened to pain. Being able to be left. 
Getting back up on cloud 9 only to have it rain. 
I am the raindrops. You are the cloud. 
And as I fall you will float and backwards, backwards, backwards I go.
One can only get back up after so many falls. 
One can only continue to play a game they enjoy. 
One can only compete when they have a chance.

I am one. 
                    And you are a completely separate
Other. 


21.8.12 ~ The Tainted