"Scattered"

I don't care if you're black or white, 17 or 30, a sportsman or musician or neither or both. I don't care if you're a doctor, a tradie or studying. I care if you can hold a decent conversation, tell the truth, and know what you're doing. I care if you can distract me, turn me on, take me away from this place I'm stuck in. I care if you hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay, get me out of this ongoing turmoil, distract me further. Stop me from bouncing up and down, ground me, keep me centred.

Insecurity please go away,
Self confidence please come back.
Everything I believed about myself,
                       It came from you.
Analysing mirrors like the chapters in a test.
Get rid of what I don't need.
Beauty was something I believed in
                        Because you said it was true.
But
You lied and lied and lied
And hurt and cut and blamed.
You cheated, you lost faith, hope, patience.
You ruined the most beautiful thing in the world.
How could someone do that to love?
                         How can you not care?
Look at me and laugh?
Tell me I'm ugly?
Say you want to be my friend?
How does someone so beautiful, so treasured,
                          Become so hated, so despised.
And how come I feel guilty for hating you?

I pray for the day thoughts of you don't plague
My happiness.
Please just stop.
Loving you ripped me to shreds.
Hating you hurts more.


29.2.12 ~ The Broken

"A Facebook Status"

Shit happens. Life doesn't always work out how you plan and the people you put your faith in let you down. When things go wrong you gotta suck it up, face it, focus on the positive but don't ignore the negative. Pain sucks, and so does losing people that are close to you, but everything that happened, good or bad, lead to you being the person you are today - embrace it.


27.2.12 - The Broken

"No Title"

You told me forever and I believed you.
You lied.
                  I won't fall for those tricks again.


15.2.12 - The Broken

"A Moment of Clarity"

At first I almost didn't even care because I loved you so much and couldn't imagine not having you in my life, but then I realised a few things.

I deserve to be with someone that loves only me, and understands and respects my lifestyle and choices. I deserve a man that will always tell me the truth, respect me when I say no and celebrate with me when I succeed. Even if I succeed at something he doesn't value or understand, he should be happy for me, proud of me. At the end of the day, he should be content to lie and hold me all night, sex or no, squeeze me when I cry and smile back at me when I'm happy.

You were all that for me and more, but somewhere along the line you changed.

The person I fell in love with isn't there anymore.

It's hard, so hard, and there are days where I miss you so much I can't do anything but cry. And I feel stupid and wonder what I did, but I've got to remember that you're the idiot that ruined what we had and threw me away. You don't deserve me and I will be better off without you.

One day I will find a boy who knows I'm not perfect, but it won't matter because I will be perfect for him.

Until I find him, I'll focus on myself, have fun, won't let anyone hold me back.

Words are easy.


9.2.12 - The Broken