'A Little Promise'

I've had some strange thoughts lately. 
Like what would happen if I just decided
To run this red light? 
Or hit that tree? 
Or drive straight into oncoming traffic? 
Who would react if I simply chose to drive of that bridge? 
Stupid, I know, but I can't help it. 
These thoughts come at the most random times. 
Sometimes when I'm sad. 
Sometimes, even, when I'm happy, 
But they're never really provoked. 
They just come. 
Looking in the mirror and thinking: 
Get rid of that, 
Get rid of that, 
Get rid of that, 
Can't be a good thing. 
But it's the truth. 
We are taught to tell the truth. 
I was taught to tell the truth. 
And if I do nothing else
I will be honest. 
To be honest, I think something is wrong. 


29.6.12/30.6.12 ~ The Tainted

'Baby Spider'

There was a time that would of scared the living daylights
Out of me,
A time that would of made me jump.
A tiny piece of life just living
Left shockwaves on my bones.

It's funny how things change, how a year ago there was a boy I thought I couldn't live without, how today that same boy is a stranger.
Priorities change, love turns to lust, and all of a sudden your life is just beginning and you've set yourself a new target.

It's amazing how you can act like a child, only to realise
You are no longer that.
Childhood will always linger, your highschool sweetheart will always have
A little piece.

It means less and less as you learn more and more, and still
You're life's little idiot.

Today I touched a single fear, tomorrow I'll face another.
And yet again, you won't understand.


11.6.12 ~ The Tainted.

'The Debt'

We all do stupid things. We yell at mum and dad for telling us what to do when they're right. We punch our brothers and sisters for beating us in competition, for making us work harder, get better. We punish ourselves for doing the right thing, blame ourselves when others do wrong.
We are human. Advanced in comparison to cats and dogs, but insignificant children of the universe. All different. All the same.
We pay. Whether it be through shame, misfortune, a missed opportunity or heartbreak, we are made to fail. Set up to fall, we must persist. Worry for the future is a pointless exercise, so, of course, we are consumed by it.
Why?
Make the same mistakes.
Lose the same memories.
Why?
So we can pay.
Maybe one day our debt will be square.


1.6.12 ~ The Tainted

'An Empty Hour'

That feeling. 
Inspiration and desire, necessary interruption. 
And you have to. 
Work, play or conversation irrelevant. 


It's pen and paper or death. 


Stone, steady and surrounding you. 
        To be found almost anywhere, 
        To be everywhere overlooked. 
We take for granted. 


That helplessness. 
You need to run and jump and scream and cry
But you won't. That's not acceptable. 
Silly, even. 


Bless. 


If only you could understand mystery, 
Retain the deleted. 
It's not the act in itself, 
It's the consequence. The feeling that goes with it. 
The relief of stresses unloaded. 
A denatured enzyme, a pretty stranger, a warm embrace. 
Incapable of no, you indulge. 
Yes, 
       Yes, 
              Yes.


Then nothing. 


Another feeling. 
Same result. You find a rock, that same stone. 
I am creating a story to be misunderstood, 
I am told; 


Welcome to adulthood. 




1.6.12 ~ The Tainted.