It doesn't take long to fall in like.
Blushing, looking down
Shy, soft kisses
Reluctance and excitement.
Anticipation.
Together
Wondering - should I? Shouldn't I?
And deciding "I should"
It doesn't take long to fall in love.
Smiling at phone vibrations labelled with their name.
Phone calls laughter questions answers
Similarities differences.
Ying and yang.
Soulmates and sex.
And it's fun. And you're so happy. And you
Can't believe
That finally someone loves you with everything
They've got
And you're swept away,
Cloud 9 and sweet dreams.
It doesn't take long to depend.
Creatures of habit, we fall into
A trifecta of discomfort
When, not if,
The one who is always there, your
Safe house, safety net,
Peace of mind happiness
Original lover
Friend
Departs.
Sadness anger grief.
It doesn't take long to fall and break
No explanation.
Lies tears anger confusion disarray
Dispair.
Unanswered questions
What did you do?
They cheat, but it's your fault.
Your passion committment drive potential
Ambition,
Too much intimidating overwhelming.
It doesn't take long for once happy
Memories
To be painful reminders of
A 'man' who
Lacks the male sex organ.
It doesn't take long to be crushed,
Flattened under the foot of heart break,
Rejection
But the tunnel to the future is long.
Flashes of light reminders that there will be an
End to the pain,
Fresh happiness,
Untainted love.
Before, now, the tunnel is full of mud and rats,
Sparks of light are few in the
Impenetrable darkness
But they exist.
It takes a long time to become the
Fittest and strongest you've ever been.
Injury takes moments,
Lasts indefinitely,
Leaves scars.
Healing seems questionable,
Apparently inevitable, there are doubts.
The injury will stay with you forever despite faded scars
You'll remember.
Tiny, insignificant seconds will trigger tears.
It doesn't take long to give in, drown yourself,
Remind yourself of what you did
Even though you were right
And they were wrong,
You'll remember that it's your fault.
It takes a long time to rebuild,
Recover.
Hope and cry and hope and cry and hope and cry.
You can grow flowers from where dirt used to be,
But it takes a long time for sprouts to appear.
30.1.12 ~ The Broken
Monday, 30 January 2012
Saturday, 28 January 2012
"No Title"
Give me a boy that tells it to me like it is and knows what he's doing. Give me a boy that treats me right, pleases me, and never lies. Find me someone that doesn't think I'm 'gay' for standing up for what I believe in. Someone that smiles because I'm smiling, laughs with me when we have fun and at me when I'm silly. Find someone that knows what to say to make me feel better or when to say nothing at all. Someone that is happy to make me happy.
I want an understanding with someone, to be with someone that is on the same page as me, has similar interests and passionate desires. Someone I can party with and trust, or spend a night in bed watching movies and eating junk food. Someone that can see me all sweaty and still be attracted to me, think I'm beautiful. Let me find someone that supports me through my choices and helps me with the tough ones.
Or don't.
As that would be too easy, too good, too happy.
And I am sad.
28.1.12 ~ The Broken
I want an understanding with someone, to be with someone that is on the same page as me, has similar interests and passionate desires. Someone I can party with and trust, or spend a night in bed watching movies and eating junk food. Someone that can see me all sweaty and still be attracted to me, think I'm beautiful. Let me find someone that supports me through my choices and helps me with the tough ones.
Or don't.
As that would be too easy, too good, too happy.
And I am sad.
28.1.12 ~ The Broken
Sunday, 8 January 2012
"Thank yous in order"
Boy 1,
For showing me nothing lasts forever.
Boy 2,
For opening the door gently and reminding me
How cool dragons are.
Boy 3, for soft lips and sweet kisses.
For honesty.
Boy 4, for maturity and realisation of reality.
Boy 5, for holding me and wanting to see me
Again.
Boy 6, for self confidence and reliability,
Consistency is the key.
Boy 7, for sparked interest, fleeting or not.
Boy 8, for reminding me that I am beautiful, that
There are nice boys that would love me.
Boy 9, for hope and excitement.
God,
Keep 'em coming.
8.1.12 ~ The Broken
For showing me nothing lasts forever.
Boy 2,
For opening the door gently and reminding me
How cool dragons are.
Boy 3, for soft lips and sweet kisses.
For honesty.
Boy 4, for maturity and realisation of reality.
Boy 5, for holding me and wanting to see me
Again.
Boy 6, for self confidence and reliability,
Consistency is the key.
Boy 7, for sparked interest, fleeting or not.
Boy 8, for reminding me that I am beautiful, that
There are nice boys that would love me.
Boy 9, for hope and excitement.
God,
Keep 'em coming.
8.1.12 ~ The Broken
"Finding Happy"
It's going to be a long way to happy. A long time until a nice boy comes along and sweeps me off my feet, and I have the courage to say yes and be swept away. It's going to be a lot of kisses until I find the one that makes my heart skip a beat, a lot of dances until I'm content to stand by the boy's side and hold his hand.
The fact is, it's going to be a long and hard wait, but I will make the most of it, as being young and free most definitely does not last forever. It's going to be a long way to happy, but there'll be laughter and smiles before I get there, cute boys, beautiful girlfriends, amazing boyfriends.
You people make me realise how precious life is, make me feel like I'm worth having around, that I might be missed sometimes if I weren't.
It's going to be a long way, but thanks to you, right now I'm okay and I know that happy is out there somewhere.
[Best friend], I don't have to explain to you, you just know, and that makes my job so much easier sometimes.
[Other best friend], you're relatively new to me, but now I can't imagine what I would do without you. I can tell you things about what I'm going through that scare me, and you make it okay, liveable. You hold my hand when I'm scared and you tell me the bad things I need to hear when I'm blinded by pain and regret. I wish I could explain what you are to me, but to be perfectly honest, I'm lost for words.
I love watching you and [your boyfriend, another of my best friends] fall in love and pray you two will keep each other happy for a long, long time yet. You's are my favourites. Spoil each other. Kiss each other just because you can. Keep each other warm when it's cold. Plan things, and do them as soon as you can, 'cause its the things we didn't do together that you miss when the person is gone, for whatever reason. Most importantly, hold each other close, love each other, and make each other smile. Wipe away each other's tears and cry on my shoulder if his is absent. I will be here forever, for real, not like how boys say. I love you so much, even though sometimes you say silly things and cry when you're drunk. I love how when things aren't all good, you ring me, and we make each other feel better. I love how I can cry in front of you and you'll just hold me and tell me exactly what I need to hear, good or bad.
I can't wait for the rest of the memories we'll make, and for the nights we will get drunk and neither of us will shed a tear that wasn't for laughter.
8.1.12 ~ The Broken
The fact is, it's going to be a long and hard wait, but I will make the most of it, as being young and free most definitely does not last forever. It's going to be a long way to happy, but there'll be laughter and smiles before I get there, cute boys, beautiful girlfriends, amazing boyfriends.
You people make me realise how precious life is, make me feel like I'm worth having around, that I might be missed sometimes if I weren't.
It's going to be a long way, but thanks to you, right now I'm okay and I know that happy is out there somewhere.
[Best friend], I don't have to explain to you, you just know, and that makes my job so much easier sometimes.
[Other best friend], you're relatively new to me, but now I can't imagine what I would do without you. I can tell you things about what I'm going through that scare me, and you make it okay, liveable. You hold my hand when I'm scared and you tell me the bad things I need to hear when I'm blinded by pain and regret. I wish I could explain what you are to me, but to be perfectly honest, I'm lost for words.
I love watching you and [your boyfriend, another of my best friends] fall in love and pray you two will keep each other happy for a long, long time yet. You's are my favourites. Spoil each other. Kiss each other just because you can. Keep each other warm when it's cold. Plan things, and do them as soon as you can, 'cause its the things we didn't do together that you miss when the person is gone, for whatever reason. Most importantly, hold each other close, love each other, and make each other smile. Wipe away each other's tears and cry on my shoulder if his is absent. I will be here forever, for real, not like how boys say. I love you so much, even though sometimes you say silly things and cry when you're drunk. I love how when things aren't all good, you ring me, and we make each other feel better. I love how I can cry in front of you and you'll just hold me and tell me exactly what I need to hear, good or bad.
I can't wait for the rest of the memories we'll make, and for the nights we will get drunk and neither of us will shed a tear that wasn't for laughter.
8.1.12 ~ The Broken
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
"Dragonfly"
Today was a good day.
I thought of you thrice.
I looked at my replacement and genuinely thought
I'm better.
I got wind in my hair,
Sun on my face to match my
More frequent smile,
Relished in the sweetness that is my
More frequent laugh.
I'm lighter.
Today was a good day.
I planned an adventure,
To see new, exciting and distant
All with my oldest favourite and potentials.
I go minutes without thoughts of you.
I'm progressing.
Today I thought of else.
Moments of retreat are growing
And the inevitable healing approaches
Despite haunting pain.
Hope helps. I fell,
But I'm starting to stand up.
In reality baby steps are giant, challenging.
Today I moved forward,
I was intrigued deeply and truly.
Interest sparked.
And you, my dear, were not the cause.
I say I'm better and I'm lying,
To myself and the world.
But say I'm getting better, you're becoming less,
And I no longer fib.
3.1.12 - The Broken
I thought of you thrice.
I looked at my replacement and genuinely thought
I'm better.
I got wind in my hair,
Sun on my face to match my
More frequent smile,
Relished in the sweetness that is my
More frequent laugh.
I'm lighter.
Today was a good day.
I planned an adventure,
To see new, exciting and distant
All with my oldest favourite and potentials.
I go minutes without thoughts of you.
I'm progressing.
Today I thought of else.
Moments of retreat are growing
And the inevitable healing approaches
Despite haunting pain.
Hope helps. I fell,
But I'm starting to stand up.
In reality baby steps are giant, challenging.
Today I moved forward,
I was intrigued deeply and truly.
Interest sparked.
And you, my dear, were not the cause.
I say I'm better and I'm lying,
To myself and the world.
But say I'm getting better, you're becoming less,
And I no longer fib.
3.1.12 - The Broken
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